June 27, 2005

I do not know how to even express my hate for this:

1. ADAM PLUS EVE ($25; adam pluseve.com). A center seam in the pouch holds everything up; less fabric at the hips prevents bunching under tight jeans. How it feels: "Like wearing your mother's underwear." Watch out for a wedgie.

2. UNICO ($15; freshpair.com). This pair is cup-shaped to enhance what nature gave you. Comes with a strip of mesh, if you prefer to walk on the wild side. How it feels: "Too tight. I don't think I could wear them for more than an hour."

3. C-IN2 ($15; freshpair.com). A microfiber sling is sewn into the pouch. Slip it on for a lift-and-separate effect (not unlike your girlfriend's bra). How it feels: "Damn sexy." Still, "it could use some instructions."

4. DSQUARED ($79 at Saks Fifth Avenue). These ride lower and the pouch is cut shorter for extra lift. How it feels: "These did fill [me] out more—and they're still fairly comfortable."

Just goes to show that the world really is coming to an end... And that there is nothing new just old things that are forgotten, the codpiece is back!