May 17, 2005

Just say it... SAY IT!

I wish more people would just say what they mean. Not what they want to mean or what they think I want them to mean, but what they actually mean. Like if you are not actually sorry I hurt myself then do not say you are sorry, you do not have to say anything, but if you do feel like speaking then speak your mind. You could say "that looked like it hurt" or "man, I'm glad I did not do that" or "that's going to leave a mark", I do not care what but speak your mind. I am constantly getting into trouble because I assume that if someone says something they actually mean it. Like if a girl would say to me she needs to wash her hair, that she actually needed to wash her hair (yes I know this is a BS excuse and brush off I just need an example). So please do me the favor of telling me exactly what you think or remain silent. Oh you can sugar coat it to spare my feelings if you feel you have to but just don't obscure the meaning. I recently went through this. There was a problem, every one felt they "had" to say something, so they spewed a bunch of BS, which I interpreted to be ether their actual opinions or what they thought I was gullible enough to believe. Turns out it was just what they wished was the truth, how they wanted it to have happened, a protective fantasy if you will. So from the time they all said there bits, until I found out that they were lying for personal reconstruction of history to protect their own opinions of themselves, I ran around all pissed of and confused. Thanks guys. I can always use a good laugh at myself, especially after a panic attack. Thanks, my heart needed the exercise.

Comments

One comment have been posted.

Posted on May 17, 2005 at 2:11 PM

This is common human behavior - and you just need a little bit of manipulation to make them change. Next time some one asks "How ya doing?" - let them know, full barrel. Odds are they didn't really want to know and next time they will be sure to steer clear, or at least keep their mouth shut. I learned a very important message back when a $100 bill actually was someting to ohh & ahh over. A patron at a bar tried to leave me a $100 tipm for a single beer; of course I thought it was way over the top so I refused. He insisted, I refused, he inisted, I refused. Finally he relented and asked me for change. Turning to me, he handed me a single $1 bill and then said "Hope you never forget this."

And I didn't - it actually was a turning point in my life. I tell this story whenever I can and the moral goes someting like this. When you ask somebody something, or offer them something, or offer to do something, you better mean it. If not, don't ask, don't offer. But if you do and they refuse, ask/offer again - but only once. SImlarly, when someone offers you something a little over the top, or asks you a question you probably shouldn't answer (how's my hair look, for example.) don't accept the offer (or don't answer the question). But if they repeat, take them up on the offer. It could be $100, or it could save you a night out with a womand and her bad hair.